oops=]

I read some of the other blogs and I'm not sure if this is right...but I'm going to write a story. About attraction and conflict. Two things that often come hand in hand in my life. So, this is a real life story, because I don't really care to be private or touchy about things that are no big deal. Plus, I'm sure I'm not the only one that this has happened to.
I fell for this guy. And he was handsome, smart, and so so bad. Which I loved. He was different than any guy I'd ever fallen for. He was extremely intelligent, but not because of formal education, just because he was. School wasn't his thing, and I think his anti-conformity was aluring, since I'm a total school geek. He read constantly and listened to the best, most chill music, and had cool posters on his walls. We fell into a "relationship" I guess? We were together, we didn't really label beyond that, but we were happy. He balanced me out, the opposite of my intense, neurotic, constantly busy self. I was attracted to him, but more so I think I was attracted to the way he made me feel and act, changed me when I was with him. I guess of the four points of attraction(physical*, proximity*, familiarity, similartity) we filled two. Things were good, they were easy. But there was somebody else.
Don't you just feel like as soon as someone new enters your romantic life, someone else tries to squeeze in simultaneously? It is so unfair. I was finally feeling right with this guy, we were meshing and had gotten past the "gettting to know one another" stage, when stupid guy #2 pranced in. I must admit, he was somethin. We'd been friends, but never anything more, not to say I hadn't thought of him as anything more in the past. CONFLICT. arg. So anyhow, he enters the picture. At first it was no big deal, harmless flirting, hanging out a few times a week, whatever. The thing is, I never told guy #1, because he wasn't my "boyfriend", and although we had talked about our connection to each other, we hadn't really set rules. Yeah, that was a mistake. Justification at it's finest. So, I crossed the line with guy #1, rather he crossed the line( yes, justification and finger pointing again). He kissed me. But I pulled away! See, I'm not that bad of the bad guy. It was weird though. I don't think I wanted to pull away, it was just immediate. My head knew it was wrong, even if animalistic instinct disagreed. It was the perfect example of cognitive dissonance. I did it, but I felt awful, and to cover it up, I justified it. #1 wasn't my boyfriend. The worst part of this intense conflict, was that I didn't tell #1. For quite a while. I guess I convinced myself that he was doing the same, so it was fine. Turns out he wasn't. And I am such a bad person, but it's like I was glad that #2 cared so much. It's like social facilitaion kind of? I don't know. I just know this is a very real version of conflict and attraction is psychology.